TOPSY - TURVY EVERYWHERE

My head is in as much of a topsy turvy state as my room is.

I am trying to sort through stuff in my room and it's hard to do when you don't have any space to divide the 'keep and pack' from the 'garage sale and get rid of' piles. It's a nightmare.

So is my head.

I went out and looked at the Toyota RV I found yesterday. It is owned by an old man who has a big bus RV as well but bought this just for a trip up to Dawson Creek and back, and that is all he's driven it. He got it cheap and in pretty rough shape and proceeded to spend a lot of time and money getting it into shape. It has a rebuilt engine, new alternator and wires, new batteries, new brakes, new rotors, new bearings, new shocks, new toilet, new fridge, new flooring ... and a bunch of other smaller stuff I can't recall. Even though he'd done all that, it was very dirty inside. The vinyl on the cab doors was sticky and dark with grime. The sink in the bathroom was filthy and needed new silicone - what was there was black and no longer attached to the sink. The kitchen taps were loose in the counter. The small bank of plastic drawers inside a cupboard were broken and wouldn't slide in and out very easily. There was almost no storage space other than a small closet and then TINY cupboards up at head-hight. And I do mean TINY.

Even though I thought it was on the small side and storage was definitely going to be a problem, I decided to buy it because I felt it was very mechanically sound. I did discover that the exhaust had a leak up near the engine when I started it up (probably shaken loose on the gravel road to Dawson Creek which makes me wonder what else got shaken loose) and took it for a run around his neighbourhood, but figured it was an easy fix. He wanted $7,500 for it and I left him a $2,000 deposit with him agreeing to keep it until I get back from Kelowna at the end of September.

I had regrets before I left his house. I just didn't feel sure it was the right one for me. And I realized that I had only researched what was available for under $3,000 in a camper van and had no idea what $7,500 could get me. I had sort of jumped at this because it was a good size to drive and park.

When I got home I did some research into the make and model and found that there had been a real issue with ones made just a few years earlier due to being too heavy for the axle and then it would break causing all kinds of collateral damage. This made me feel ill. I then went to an RV board and asked what they thought and got the reply that most of them don't recommend the Toyota because the chassis is too small. I called the guy who owns it and expressed my concerns and he said he never heard of such things and he had no issues with it or another one like it he owned several years ago. Somewhat mollified, I decided to keep it. Then, a few hours later, as I was still feeling like I had made a bad decision - the thing is really too small for me even though I am worried about driving something bigger - he called and said he wanted me to be happy with the decision and, if I wasn't, I had till the next morning to let him know and he would give me all of my deposit back. I really appreciated this and said I would let him know.

After reading some more stuff about it on line that I wasn't happy with, I called him and then drove back out to Chilliwack (an hour each way) and got my money back. I left there not knowing if I was making the right decision but I felt better so I think I am. Who knows? I know NOTHING about RV's and could really use the help of someone who does but I don't know anyone who even owns one.

To top it off - I sold my Jeep for $600 yesterday. It has over 370,000 miles on it and needs new rear brakes, rotors and a new catalytic converter and muffler. I still have it as I told the fellow I needed it 'till Sept 5th and that worked great for him. But now I am wondering if I should do the work on it and hang onto it so I have something to drive when I get back from the job in Kelowna. OR... I could maybe even take it up there if I got all of the work done on it. But I don't think it's worth getting the work done on it. It's OLD... a '93. Who knows when the transmission will go. It seems to all work fine now but I've had one go in another car I had and it's very expensive to fix and definitely not worth doing on this. I don't need to have a car to go to Kelowna as the production is taking a coach bus up for crew that doesn't want to drive, and will provide transport between the set and hotel. But once the job is finished and I come back down here, not only won't I have a place to live... I won't even have a car. So I am thinking I should hang onto it until I get that sorted out. He only left a $200 deposit so I can give that back.

I feel so unstable right now, second guessing myself at every turn.

I wish I had someone to run all of this by and help me think straight... but all of my friends are women and I don't know that they know any more than I do about any of this. What I wouldn't give for a good man right about now.

NOT QUITE FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL, BUT....

I was in bed by 8:45 last night, completely exhausted.

I have five friends I have known for twenty years and the six of us meet as a group, or try to, twice a month. I love these women and we've seen each other through a lot of stuff. This weekend was a doozy.

One's mom died. One's son got married. One's son had a baby girl. One's daughter had a wedding shower. And I had a mammoth garage sale (Larry and Willy were no-shows) to get rid of the last of my things that I don't have stored in one of those friend's crawl space. (The sixth friend didn't have anything significant happen this particular weekend, but her whole life is one long soap opera.)

While trying in vain to stay alert during my friend's daughter's shower, which my daughter came down from Kelowna for and stayed with me (she's a bridesmaid), my dear friend couldn't help but notice how exhausted I looked. She made the comment that, the fact that I just sold a lot of things I had some emotional attachment to thus experiencing another layer of shedding my former life was most likely playing a significant part in how tired out I was. I hadn't thought of it, but I think she was probably right.

And the two very strong Margaritas I had at the garage sale probably didn't help.

That and going to a late night show with Shonah on Thursday night to see Toy Story 3.


Waiting for the movie wearing3D glasses ......Pretty Wedding Table......................Garage Sale Necessities............................Stuff That Didn't Sell

DOWNSIZING

I am having a MASSIVE garage sale this weekend. All the stuff I want to keep is safely tucked away in a kind friend's crawl-space. The rest is stored in a shed and on Friday, I will take a rented truck and some strong armed friends, and bring it all to the house I live at. My friend here also has a lot of things to sell, and another friend - Dan who I met working at the Olympics - has just moved and has stuff as well. So this Saturday we are putting it all out on the lawn and, hopefully, getting rid of it ALL.

There's some great stuff to be had so if you live in the area, stop on by.

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SO MANY BOOKS, SO LITTLE SPACE

Photo by Ashleigh MontgomeryDeciding what to keep and what to get rid of is easier than I thought it would be. Until I got to the books.

I rarely use my library card. I love books. I love them so much that I would prefer that they became treasured possessions than an item borrowed and returned as if they had no value to me.

This may be explained by the fact that I have been reading since I was three. My mother taught me. I have foggy memories of a green chalkboard on an easel in our living room and yellow chalked letters with my mother's voice sounding them out; ah, buh, ku, du, eh... I remember begging my mom to be able to go to school at four years old. She talked to the school officials and I found myself happily in the British equivalent of Kindergarten a year early (until it came time to do math; there was no happiness in that for me. Ever.) I had every story book lining the shelves of that classroom read in two months. I have read pretty much everything I can get my hands on since.

When I was married, we turned the family room into a library. Bookshelves lined every wall and were full. He was a reader as well but read different authors than I did. When I left, I took the ones that were mine. The Bronte sisters, Jane Austen, a set of leather bound classics such as The Scarlet Letter, Moby Dick, Don Quixote, The Secret Garden. I had every book by Sharon Kay Penman, Bill Bryson, Rosamunde Pilcher, John Grisham, James Patterson, Anne Rule, Maeve Binchy to name just a few. And they all came with me.

I have moved 6 times in 7 years and carting all of those heavy boxes from place to place became too much so I decided that most had to go. Not to mention I no longer had the luxury of devoting one whole room to their keep. I selected only the ones I knew I would read again. The Bronte sisters, Austen, the leather bound classics, Bill Bryson (hilarious travel writer), and Sharon Kay Penman stayed. As did a few select others. The rest I sold at a garage sale or gave to the local thrift store. I tried to sell some to the used book store but they didn't want most of what I had. I didn't know quite what to make of that.

Along the way, in the past seven years, I have added to the small library I cart around from place to place. As I pack my belongings into boxes, yet again, I pick up a book and run my hands over the cover, recalling the story held within. It's like remembering a recent vacation as the scenes that I love dance through my mind. The thoughts of parting with it is akin to parting with a photo album full of holiday memories. If I don't have the book, how will I remember the story? But I shake my head clear of that thought as the pragmatic side of me forces it's way into focus. The question that needs to be answered is - Will I read it again? If the answer is no, then it has to go into the garage sale box.

I have acquired some books that I cannot part with. Two are veritable tomes, inches thick and weigh a lot. But oh, what satisfying reads they are. The sort of book you just don't want to put down and, as the pages on the right get fewer and fewer, you wish you could slow down your reading enough to make them last longer than you know they will. Panic actually set in as I got down to the last ten pages. I am speaking of Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett and it's sequel, World Without End. Oh the feeling of elation that came over me not a week after I finished Pillars when I discovered there was a sequel just released. I, who can not bring myself to pay the price for a hardcover when it will be out in paperback at a third of the cost in mere months, handed over thirty odd dollars without a blink. If you haven't read them, don't waste a moment more. You MUST get these books into your hands as soon as you can. You won't regret it.

So those definitely go into the 'keep' box. Along with my Guide to the British Virgin Islands, all the Catherine Cookson books I bought over the summer, and a few books I haven't yet read.

As I tape up the box of books to garage sale, come spring, I am proud of myself. It's not easy for me to give up my books but I have done it a few times now. I can't say I haven't missed some of them because I have. I often recall with fondness the entire shelf of Ms Pilcher's books in their chintz print covers - so very British - and I wonder if I did the right thing to get rid of them. In the grocery line up I will see a book by Anne Rule and pick it up, read the back, and wonder if it was one I used to own and thus have read. And now, when I see a book I want to buy, I hesitate to spend the money if I know that I probably won't be keeping it. I guess it's time to dust off the library card.