JACK CALLING

I am sound asleep at 7:15 a.m. this morning when the phone rings. Last night, as I was about to turn off my bedside lamp I remembered that I had not turned my cell phone to 'silent' - something I do every night as I have been wakened too many times in the wee hours by a wrong number. I looked at it lying on top of my current book (I went and bought the hard cover of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest - I just couldn't wait for the library) and, for the first time ever, thought 'oh whatever' and didn't turn it off. So not like me.

So when the phone rings, I snap out of a dead sleep and grab it. I look at the caller ID. JACK. Jack? Who's Jack? The only Jack I can think of is a producer in LA I worked for last summer and I don't have his number saved. Then it hits me. THAT JACK! It's the radio station, Jack FM. I have their number saved so I can speed dial it for contests when I am driving into work in the morning. I quickly try to clear the morning voice from my throat and flip the phone open.

"Hello?"

"Hi there!!!! This is Larry and Willy calling from Jack FM. Who's this?"

"Sandra."

"GREAT! Just who we were hoping to get. We want to talk to you about your garage sale. Can you hold a minute?"

"Sure." I answer and, as rock music fills my ear, I clear my voice some more and shake the cobwebs from my brain.

A couple of days ago I received an email from Jack FM telling me about a promotion they're having called Larry and Willy's Neighbourhood Suck Up. The gist of it is, write and tell them about an event you're having on the weekend and they might show up in the Jack Suck Up Truck and party with you and hand out freezies to everyone. They specifically named garage sales on the list of the type of events they were looking for. I thought that was pretty timely so quickly filled out the form and, in the "description of your event" space, I just copied and pasted the ad I placed on CraigsList. I sent it off with pretty low expectations. But now, here I was on the other end of the phone, waiting to talk on the air!

Pretty soon the music ends and I hear them say, "We are looking over entries for our Larry and Willy's Neighbourhood Suck Up this weekend and we have Sandra Montgomery on the phone to talk about her garage sale... So Sandra, first of all, what do you think about GM Place now being called Rogers Arena?" I JUST read about that yesterday. I don't watch the news or read the newspapers anymore, for peace of minds sake, but every now and then a headline catches my interest on Yahoo. I had also just read about a new name proposal for Stanley Park. How great that I know these two things; I won't sound like a complete idiot. "Well, with that and the name change proposed for Stanley Park, I'm not going to know the city soon." "Oh no no," they both chorused, "that's been struck down. Stockwell Day stood up and said it's not happening." "Oh good!" I reply.

"So tell us about this huge garage sale you have planned for Saturday. We're interested in the antique sewing machine. Is it a Singer?" "Yes, I believe it is." "Of course it is, that's what they all are." They then ask me some questions about stuff I have listed and comment on my line about 'no crocheted toilet roll covers' and say they will bring a few to toss on the table. They ask me for the address and for directions. They ask if there's a landmark nearby like "under the big oak tree" and I say there's not but there will be signs on the main roads and then, because I work in the film industry and can find anywhere with the arrows they put up to locations, I am putting up pink arrows that I made to lead to the house from the main street. They jump on that. "Ohhh! Great idea!!!" I hear them both chorus. Then one asks me, "If you don't mind my asking, what do you do in film?" I tell them I am a script supervisor, but no one knows what that is. "Are you responsible for that awful Twilight script?" they ask. I say I am not but I did work at the cabin they used for the werewolves den a few weeks ago. "Oh really? Wow, that's kinda cool." I am on the air for ten minutes with them and it's so much fun! They finally say that our garage sale is in the running for a visit from them on Saturday. I tell them we are planning on making some Margaritas. "That's it then. We're coming." one says. The other says, "Great. Drunk by 9:30, passed out on the lawn by noon getting sunburned."

After I hang up I realize it was martinis we planned to make. Now I need to find a good Margarita recipe in case they show up!