IT CAN ALL GO TO POT ON THE TOSS OF THE DICE

(Note: There are two blogs for today so, once you've read this one, scroll down the page for the second one.)

Well, my trip report starts before I have even left for the airport. My flight is at 6:00AM tomorrow morning. I have muscled almost all I wanted to take into a carry on bag and one roomy purse, and now just need to wash my sheets, so I come home to a crisp bed, and chase some dust bunnies out from the corners of my room.

I was planning on heading down to the EI office (Employment Insurance) to apply for coverage just in case we weren't coming back for season two, but now that it's been officially announced that YTV has picked up a second season AND I have received an email from the Production Manager to say she will see me in July (I'm not fired - YAY!) I won't need to make that trip.

The reason my report starts today, however, is not a good one.

When I was looking at flights and dates for my trip, I realized that the week I was thinking of being in Mexico for the dentist fell on the week of Easter. So that meant that I could lose two days in the chair; Good Friday and Easter Monday. Being that most Mexicans are Catholic, I was pretty sure they'd be closed. I wrote and asked, specifically, if they were open "over the Easter weekend for Good Friday and Easter Monday". I received the reply that they were indeed open for "Good Friday and the Monday, so do you want me to book you in for the 20th?". I replied, yes, and went ahead with booking a flight and the rest of my plans.

Last week I sent three emails to them asking for a confirmation of my appointment for 9:00am on Wednesday the 20th, and for my 8 night stay at their B&B. I sent three because they didn't reply in their usual prompt manner to the first two. Today I received the reply.

They confirmed my appointment and the B&B but then went on to say that they were closed for Easter on Thursday and Friday so I wouldn't be back in their office until Monday.

I sat there re-reading the words for several moments, looking for where I was making this colossal error with my usually proficient reading skills, turning the - yes we have you booked in as planned - into this absolute nonsense.

When I initially contacted them about visiting, I asked if three days would be enough for the work I believed I needed doing. They replied that four would be more likely. So, in my mind, I had Wed, Thur and Fri to get most of the work done, the weekend to see if it was all fitting and feeling good, Monday to finish up and Tuesday to make any needed adjustments. Now, I have three days. And the weekend - FOUR DAYS - to sit around with a mouth that will have who knows what in it - shaved down teeth for crowns? I don't know but I know I don't want to sit around for four days waiting to continue the torture. I have steeled my mind for three days of hell and then it's pretty much over and I have the weekend to relax, soak up some sun, eat a bit of food and see how the teeth feel....

I am so upset I can't even express it. I am the sort of person (if you didn't guess by now) who plans everything down to the detail because I don't like nasty surprises and, being a bit of a nervous traveler due to not liking nasty surprises, need to have as much in place as possible. Look, the first time we took our small kids to Disneyland (and my first trip there) I walked through the gates knowing the place like the back of my hand. I had studied it until I knew not only the layout, but the little known gems that people overlook because they don't do the research that I do. When I first arrived on Tortola two years ago, I KNEW we were supposed to turn left up that scary hill even though the directions, emailed to me (and I had printed out) from the woman who owned the villa we had rented, said to turn right and even though half of the street sign was missing, because I had studied the route on Google Earth with all the diligence of Henry Morton Stanley mapping out his route to find Dr. Livingstone.

I also hate going to the dentist, that's why I haven't been in 20 years. So I really have had to do a mind job on myself to even be able to plan this trip and face going for so much work. A big part of being able to push through was knowing that it was three straight days of hell and then it would be pretty much over.

So this has really thrown me for a loop. I have never done well when I encounter incompetence in business dealings - whether it be bank, store, customer service, or this. The man I spoke to on the phone at the dentist this morning kept insisting that the receptionist (I have since found out that it was the OWNER) must have forgotten it was a holiday but I kept insisting that could not be possible given I had used the words EASTER and GOOD FRIDAY in my email and she had replied using the words GOOD FRIDAY (and I have never until now heard of 'Holy Thursday' so didn't think to ask if that was a holiday). Maybe she didn't realize they got the two days off. I don't know. But what I know is this: you can be as diligent and careful as possible when planning something but it's a lot like playing a game of strategy that also has a dice; if the dice doesn't roll the way you need it to, all the strategy in the world won't save you. I remember my ex-husband, who was not a good sport about losing when playing board games as a family, saying how he hated playing games that had a dice - he was an amazing strategist but would lose because of the dice.

This is a lot like that.

***UPDATE: I wrote the above right after getting of the phone to them to try to straighten it out. He said he'd call me in an hour and I just got the call back. The first words out of his mouth were, "Are you still planning on coming tomorrow?" Ummm... YES! Then he told me that the B&B is closed for the four day weekend.

Oh no no no, no it's not...in their dreams maybe. I told him I am confirmed for the week and he needed to figure that one out because that is where I am staying.

Not exactly the relationship I wanted to build with someone who is about to work on my whole mouth.

Need I say?.... I am stressed out to the max right now. Might be a good time to see how those Xanax work on stress.

A SMILE THAT CAN LIGHT UP A ROOM

I hate going to the dentist. It's a fear left over from when I was a child and lived in England where the dental practices hadn't changed in a hundred years, or so it seemed. Then when I was new in Canada, at the tender age of 8, a dentist here slapped me at the end of whatever it was he was doing to my mouth and declared that I was the worst patient he had ever treated. So yeah, not overly fond of dentists.

As a result, I haven't gone very often as an adult - usually just when the pain becomes more than I can stand and I end up needing a root canal or an extraction, or both in the case of a tooth that abscessed after a root canal. I have taken very good care of my teeth since the last visit, sometime back in the early 90's, so haven't had any pain until recently; the enamel, and more it feels like, has worn away from the back side of my front uppers and so now when I eat or drink anything cold, they zing with pain, and I noticed recently that there are fine cracks running vertically down each tooth. A couple of other teeth have started to feel quite sensitive as well. And I have a broken tooth from one of the root canals that never got a crown because I couldn't afford it at the time. So it would seem that I have scheduled this appointment with a dentist in Mexico none too soon.

I have wanted, for a long long time now, to fix my smile. I have a few gaps towards the back where molars were pulled, and my two front teeth cross over a bit thanks to one of those backwards dentists in England who determined that the best way to fix my buck teeth as a 6 year old was to make a plastic mouthpiece that went between my lips and teeth which I wore to bed every evening to push them back. So back they went - crossed. I have hated my smile ever since. In photos, the one tooth is always in the shadow of the one that crosses over it and so looks grey. And when I smile big or laugh, the gaps from the pulled teeth show. So I have altered the way I smile over the years to minimize showing any of these flaws and I laugh behind my hand. All I want is to be able to smile and laugh again without feeling self conscious. I have watched makeover show after makeover show for years and envied the women who get their smiles made over with pearly white veneers. Finally I am hoping to have my turn.

I have a limited amount of money to spend on this, $6,000 to be exact. I have saved for it over the past 8 months. If I were to be getting this work done in Canada it wouldn't even scratch the surface of what needs to be done. I was searching the internet a year or so ago on a totally unrelated topic when I came across a few posts from people who regularly go to Mexico for dental work and the incredible prices they pay. This piqued my interest greatly, and I began some serious research (I love researching stuff on the internet). I discovered that many, many Americans and Canadians travel to Mexico for dental work and that the cost of travel plus the dental work plus a weeks vacation costs less than the price of having the same work done here AND the quality is just as good if not better. Of course, there were the nay sayers and those who had work done that they weren't satisfied with or that they had to have redone at home, but many months of research narrowed my choices down to Los Algodones, a little town across the border from Yuma Arizona filled with dental clinics. I found a place called TLC Dental that had glowing reviews on many various sites dealing with other topics (RV lifestyle, Mexico travel, medical travel, etc) and was delighted to discover that they even have a B&B for their patients at the incredible price of $35 a night (since booking my appointment with them, they have opened their new B&B which has a pool!). The plan is to get the necessary work done first and then, hopefully, there will be some left over for cosmetic dentistry! I really hope so. The price list gives me hope that there will be:

Porcelain/Metal Crowns $250
Veneers Total Crowns - Emax $400
Plates Upper or Lower (Dentures)$350 ea.
Extractions /Normal $60-100
Bleaching (Home Kit) $125
Bleaching $200
Partial (Acrylic w/Metal Hooks)$180
Partial (Flexible)$400
Partial (Flexible w/Metal Mesh)$500
Fillings (White)$40-80
Pre-Fab Post (Pin)$125
Root Canals $350
Implants (for Crowns)$1200
Crowns for Implants $400
Cleaning $40
Wisdom Teeth Extractions $150-$250

And just a week ago I found out that a friend of mine had gone to the same town 6 weeks or so ago to get his dental work done. Estimate from his dentist - $12,000 - $14,000; paid in Mexico - $1,200!!! He had no idea I was going nor I him. I called him and asked him about his experience and he said that his dentist had done a fantastic job, that he would pay it again tomorrow for the same work, and that he was going back soon for more work after a bone graft he had done was healed. He even had a bone graft done for that money! Incredible. I was hoping he had gone to the same dentist I am booked in with but he went to The Smile Shoppe. He said that all of the dentists in the town are the same though. I know that the practice I chose is owned by an American dentist and that the other dentists he employs are well trained so I am not concerned.

Well, other than the pain involved to get the smile I want, that is.

In that light, I went to my doctor and had her give me a prescription for Xanax, one of the drugs highly recommended by those as terrified of the dentist as I am. She told me to try it out before I leave for my trip to figure out the dosage I would need; each pill is .05mg. So yesterday evening I took one and waited, and waited, and waited - and never felt any different so took another one. Woah! Within 10 minutes I felt very woozy and sleepy. Can't say I felt any less anxious, I have been feeling a bit of nerves about the whole trip (I am a nervous traveler but that's for another post) but felt off kilter when I tried to walk around. I ended up in bed just after 9, I was that wiped out. So... not sure if it will do the trick on the nerves but I might fall asleep in the chair.

I will, of course, let you know how it goes.

LEAVING IS SO HARD

My poor girl. She is so sore and swollen after having all four wisdom teeth removed under general anesthetic. She is being very stoic and doesn't complain. But when she tries to eat some of the food I have prepared for her, she often grimaces in pain. And she asks me when her next dose of Tylenol 3 and Ibuprofen is due about half an hour before it is.

I picked her up and took her to the dentist office at 11:00 on Thursday and she was in there for an hour. While she was out for the count, I went and got her prescriptions filled for the T3's and penicillin. When I got back to the office, it wasn't long before they came out to reception to tell me that she was ready to go home. I went in the back where she was laying on a cot in a small room. She had her eyes closed and when the nurse spoke, she opened them and smiled at me in a dreamy way. 'That will be the last smile I see from her in a long time,' was my thought. And it was.

I get her home and into bed and then start the day-long routine of setting the oven timer for 15 minutes per side for an ice pack and then 30 minutes rest and putting the pack back in the freezer. I am up and down out of my chair all day and am wiped out by the time I go home. I also make her some jello and soup, and go to the store for some applesauce, juice, Gatoraid, and canned pears. I make sure she eats at regular intervals as the nurse said it was important for her to get some nutrition. Shonah had bought herself some popsicles in anticipation and so she has a few of those as well.

Friday and Saturday I spend most of the day with her right until she goes to bed at night. Saturday, I spend the morning packing up to leave for the coast. It doesn't take as long as I thought it would. I clean the bathroom and the kitchen and then get over to Shonah's. We spend some time watching episodes of Friends that a friend of hers loaned her and we laugh a lot. Well, I laugh a lot. Poor Shonah holds her cheeks and chuckles carefully.

My friend Brenda sends me an email on Friday to tell me that her sister is in Kelowna and is coming back on Sunday so I can catch a ride with her and her husband. I am thrilled as Shonah will not be in any sort of shape to do the trip with me. When I call to make the arrangements they aren't sure when they are leaving; they might even leave on Monday, which is too late for me. So we arrange that they will call me and let me know. I have packed for the bus, just in case, and plan to leave one big bag behind with Shonah; summer clothing and shoes that I won't need on set. The other bag is bulging with what I will need. And I still need to go through my stored clothes to find my micro fleece long johns, my rain gear and socks and my boots. Who knows what kind of weather we will have over there this time of year. It could be gorgeous and warm or raining and cold. There will be some night shooting as well, and that close to the water, it won't be a warm night.

On Sunday I go over to Shonah's at ten in the morning and spend a couple of hours with her. She tells me that she wants to go to a barbeque in the afternoon for just an hour. It's a meet and greet for the youth leaders to meet the new grade seven kids that will start youth group this fall. So I take drop her off at that and go to have a hot chocolate at Perks but it's closed so I just sit and read a book in the car until she's done. She comes out pretty flushed and tired and as I drive her back home she says she just wants to go to bed. At her place I get out of the car and give her a hug and kiss and then leave, knowing I won't see her for a month or two. I hate leaving her when she's like this. I wish I could have two more days with her; then the swelling would be gone and she might be off the T 3's and able to function a bit better. But I have to leave her.

Brenda's sister, who is also Sandy, comes at four in the afternoon just as the skies open up and rain falls like I have rarely seen in this part of the world. My soft bag full of clothes has to go in the back of the truck and if it's raining like this all the way, my stuff will be soaked through. So I fetch a couple of garbage bags and some duct tape and her husband and I wrestle the huge bag into the plastic ones and tape it all up. When we are done, we are soaked through. Reminded me of Virgin Gorda; it absolutely pelted it down, like I have only seen in movies, our last morning there.

He makes amazing time on the trip down and what would normally take 3-4 hours takes him just over two. We went through about 4 or 5 radar traps and he never got caught. He seemed to slow down just in the nick of time. So I get to Debbie's, my friend who is letting me stay with her for the next two nights, at 7:20. We sit and have some tea and chat until 11:00 and then, both of us almost senseless with fatigue, stumble to our respective rooms.

Another dear friend emailed me on Sunday and told me that I could use her car all day Monday, as she didn't need it. I gratefully accepted her generous offer and it made my day so much easier than I thought it was going to be. I headed over to Brenda's to cut her hair and then she took me to see the house they just bought. It's brand new and gorgeous. It has a basement suite that I may rent with another girl. It still needs a kitchen putting in and a bedroom walling off so I had a bit of trouble picturing what it will be like when done. There is a huge bedroom already there but the other girl will take it. She just has a twin bed and I have a queen so it seems a bit backwards but, whatever. I am just happy to have a prospect for somewhere to stay. They won't take possession until two weeks after I get back from the Island so Debbie said I can stay with her. Honestly, I don't know where I'd be right now if it wasn't for my wonderful friends.

After Brenda's, I head up to Cary's. Fran took all of my bags of shoes and clothing over there for me because she and Tom are going away for the long weekend. Cary is SO helpful, bending over backwards to make it easy to go through my bags, as my back is absolutely killing me. It started two days ago and I am in constant agony. She can see the strain in my face and comments on it a few times. My bags are out in her garage and I find the items I need in short order. I don't remember doing this (it doesn't surprise me, however) but I put all my work clothes in the suitcase last so they are right on top. And when I open my work bag (I call it my drag-bag because it's on wheels) not only is all of my equipment in there as I knew it would be, but so are my work lights, my gloves and my arm warmers. I am impressed with myself as I go back into Cary's and she can't believe I am done in less than ten minutes. "I thought you'd be out there for an hour or two." she says.

She wants me to stay for lunch and she makes us each a huge chicken salad in a tortilla shell bowl that she makes herself. Even though my stomach has been acting up lately and is sore today, I don't have any trouble eating the lot. It is delicious, as usual. Everything she serves is delicious.

I tell her that I want to go see Ashleigh and Rob and that Christopher and Izzy are spending the day together downtown Vancouver and, when I called him, agreed to go over to the apartment in North Van and meet me there and the five of us would go out for dinner. But I am really not feeling good because of my back and it's worse when I sit down, so I am dreading driving all that way. And with it being a holiday Monday, I anticipate that the traffic will be horrendous going across the bridge from Surrey to Coquitlam, as it always is. We listen to the radio to see what they say about traffic, and it sounds like it might not be too bad. I decide to go for it.

I stop off at Debbies to drop off the gear I picked up at Cary's, and to grab the little zester I found for Ashleigh at the garage sale. Then I hit the highway and, surprise, it's smooth sailing all the way and I make it to North Vancouver in less than half an hour.

Just as I pull up to the curb, Ashleigh and Rob are walking out of their apartment. I honk and they laugh as they come up to the car and open the passenger door. "Where do you think you're going, when you know I'm coming?" I ask in a cheeky tone. "You were supposed to call when you were on your way." Ashleigh says. Oh right. I was too. They tell me that they were just going to walk down to Lonsdale Key to Opus art supplies. I tell them to hop in and I'll drive them. So they do. It's a long way down the road, it would have taken them over an hour, there and back. I get there in 5 mintues and park. We cross the road and walk up the hill a bit and just as we are about to climb the steps to the door of Opus, we hear them dead bolt it from the inside. DANG! Even though it's Monday, because it's Labour Day, they are closing at 5 like they do on Sundays. We groan and the person inside hears us. She unlocks the door and pops her head out. "I heard that," she says with a smile, "is it going to be a quick trip?" she asks. "No." says Ashleigh. "Oh, then sorry. I am going home." she says. We thank her anyway, it was so nice of her, and head back to the car.

We go back to the apartment and while we wait for Izzy and Christopher, I cut Rob's hair because I happen to have my scissors again - just like last time. Then Ashleigh sits me down on the couch and shows me their professional wedding photos that they just got from the photographer in the BVI. The photographer has adjusted the color so that, even though they are color prints, they have a sepia tone to them. Ashleigh's dress was a soft white, they call it champagne white, but in the photos it looks ivory. I think they're gorgeous and so does Ashleigh and Rob. The prints they ordered have also been put on a disc and Rob makes one for me so that I can get some printed later. I hope they are the same color on the disc.

Christopher and Izzy show up and after hugs all around, that feels SO good, we head out for sushi. Lonsdale, the main road at the end of Ashleigh and Rob's street, is a wealth of little restaurants of every ethnic description, and there has to be at least five sushi places. The one they like is closed so we go to another one. The prices are so reasonable. Cheap really. I had 10 pieces of veggie tempura in Kelowna one day and it was $11.00. Here, 10 pc's - two of which are prawns - is $4.50. A huge difference. And their rolls are $3.00. Even the fancy ones are less than $5. When our food comes, it's absolutely delicious. Some of the best I have ever had. And my bill is $7.00. Can't argue with that.

The conversation is fun and we laugh a lot. I am crazy about my kids and the partners they have chosen are wonderful, special people. I love them all so much. I sit there and bask in the precious moments I have with them all, knowing that it will end way too soon and I will be alone again. And sure enough, I look at my watch and gasp. It's almost 8 and I wanted to be back in Langley by then. I have arranged for a ride to the ferry in the morning with a transport guy from the show. He lives in Cloverdale, which is fifteen minutes closer to the ferry than I am yet he said he will come and pick me up right at my door. He has to be on the 7 a.m. ferry so he's picking me up at 4:30 a.m. That's a pretty early call and I want to be in bed by 9. And before I can do that, I have to pack up all the stuff I got today into my bags. I reluctantly tell the kids that I have to get going, so we pay our bill and leave. On the walk back to the apartment, Christopher asks Ashleigh and Rob if they are up for a game of Uno. "Noooo!" I cry, "You can't have fun without me. You know how I hate to miss anything!" They laugh and Christopher says, "OK, we're just going home then." with a big grin. We get to my car and I hug each one of them, hating to let go, and then watch as they all go inside to play Uno, and I get in and drive off. It's 8:15 and I am so torn, knowing I have no choice... I have to get the car back and then get to bed.

I make good time and return it with many, many thanks and more gas in it than there was when I picked it up, as a small thank-you, and Debbie comes to fetch me home. I take 20 minutes to pack my stuff and then get straight to bed. It's going to be a short, short night.